28/12/2009
Joke’s on You Al Qaeda
Bombed out is our local aesthetic, murder and terror don’t scare us - especially when it’s only attempted.
We elect scarier people than you to office and we pack more heat than all the irate Baathists you can find in Baghdad.
We are not suggesting you keep trying to murder us, we’re only saying these wannabees you keep sending can’t hang and are far less imposing than parking at Alvins. Did we mention Harpo’s? They can close Gitmo, but not that place - we could arrange a visit for you that would have you begging for Cheney. Cuba’s warm fuckos and we all know it’s so cold out here in the D.
Plus, there’s probably some people around here desperate enough to trade a plane of Dutch for the homeland security and construction jobs we could get out of it.
That sounds sick, but don’t forget that we’ve had a legit argument over whether setting our city on fire does more harm or good.
Desperation does make you do crazy shit, we totally get that - but there’s no reason to drag God into it like some phony ass Republican or a city council member.
You forget that we have more Muslims than some Muslim countries. So stop shopping that angle. Our buddy Abdul played d-line at Fordson and would be first in line to stomp your ass.
Not that we are trying to make this about toughness - we’ve kinda beaten that to death (no pun intended) around here. We are saying we aren’t the best target - capitalism barely has a toe hold here - you could have figured that out when you picked us because we were the cheapest ticket to the US.
In closing and in summation, please leave us alone - we got enough shit going on as it is.
Love and warm wishes Detroit (or at least Gorilla)
Text posted at 20:45
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